Women and men

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

(And you wonder why you are still single, if you are that way and think that way.)

Thought for the day - The Chair

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.

The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself. Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand".

God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand".

God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill Gates responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".

Tamil Trivia

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu? I, Iyer, Iyengar.

What's the opposite of Go-palakrishnan?....Come-palakrishnan.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl?
Ivan Lendl (Ivan = 'he' in Tamil).

What did the Tamilian call the tall building a Japanese built?
Nikumo Nikado (Will it or won't it stand?)

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy? [Subramnium Saw-mee ? ]
Subramanium Didn't See Me.

Thought For The Day

Oops

Mandira Bedi does it again

While hosting the Cricket World Cup 2007 Finals on Set MAX with Charu Sharma, Mandira Bedi was seen wearing a saree which had national flags of all the countries which participated in the tournament. As seen Mandira was seen wearing a sari, which had an image of the Indian Tricolour below her waist, which was against the constitutional norm. Mandira's sari on the occasion had images of national flags of all the cricket-playing nations printed on it. But the image of the Indian Tricolour was in a rather disrespectful position.

The Indian Government had cleared wearing of images of the Indian Tricolour on clothing in 2005 following a raging debate over the provision of the Prevention of Insults to National Honour Act, 1971, according to which using the Indian national flag as a drapery in any form except in state funerals was a crime.

The restrctions were eased after a legal fight by industrialist and Congress party MP Naveen Jindal, demanding that all Indians and institutions be allowed to fly the national flag respectfully. After the Supreme Court ruled in favour of Jindal in 2001, the Government brought in an amendment in the Act in 2005.

However, even that amendment made it clear that the flag can only be displayed on garments above the waist. As per the order, caps and T-shirts are in, but swimsuits and evening gowns are still a no-no. The flag can not be embroidered or printed even on cushion covers, gloves, handkerchiefs, napkins and dress material. Mandira has worn garment with Indian tricolor on previous occasions but it was well above the waist.

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Future Headlines

The year is 2030, twenty-five years in the future. What are the headlines?

Some ideas:

European-americans still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2032.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches; average sentence for first offenses now 2 years, 6 months.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

The floor is open............